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  • You're probably going to hate it here (at first): post-grad edition

You're probably going to hate it here (at first): post-grad edition

Me at work during the first 90 days of my entry to “the real world” taken by the fabulously talented Jeronimo Nisa, photographer at The Decatur Daily.

I wrote a piece for my college newspaper in 2019 titled “You’re probably going to hate it here (at first)”

It was an open letter to freshmen about how few people talk about the difficult transition from high school to college.

On the contrary, everyone talks about the difficult transition from college to “the real world,” and for good reason: this transition sucks.

You’re living the dream in college. Your best friends live a stone’s throw away, you randomly have Tuesday afternoons off, maybe you’re fortunate enough to swipe your parents’ credit card for every gallon of gas or grocery trip you embark on.

Cut to “the real world.” You’re working in a windowless office, earning $16 an hour with a degree that cost minimum $60,000, or working for someone incompetent and/or uncaring, hating your boss/job/life and praying this can’t be it.

Maybe you moved to a brand new city where you don’t know a soul. Maybe you’re back at home living in the childhood bedroom you long outgrew. Maybe you struggle to find a “real job” at all–which reminds me of the Oscar Wilde quote I clung to during my tumultuous first year post-grad: “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” 

Easier said than done.

It feels pretty miserable to go from a packed social calendar to thinking all you have to look forward to after work is deciding what’s for dinner every night, retiring, and then dying. 

Without the structure of college cramming wellness, friendship and social events down your throat, it becomes your job prioritize these things–lest you succumb to the misery the 9-to-5 drag.

To avoid this? Two words: prioritize fun. You must listen to the zany voice inside of your head (no matter how small) that wants to try rollerskating, or take pottery class or buy a craft beer making kit for the hell of it. 

It can be easy to fall into the droll routine of working and forget what ever made you happy in the first place.

When that happens, remember who you are. Remember who you were in second grade on the playground dreaming without limits. Remember who you were in eighth grade ready to rebel against anyone who told you no. Remember who you were on your toughest day in college, busting out ten page papers on a hungover Sunday afternoon–or doing whatever it is that people who study math or science do. I don’t want to pretend like I know, but I know it’s hard!

Remind yourself of the tremendous agency you have over your life and exercise it. Do things that light you up inside. Try something new with no expectation of being good at it. It builds confidence by pushing you out of your comfort zone.

Embracing the challenge in front of you can also require significant letting go to help open up a new path in front of you.

Letting go can look like quitting a harmful habit or breaking up with someone you thought was your forever. It can look like releasing friends that don’t lift you up, no matter how painful that process might be. 

Your life belongs to YOU.

Call me crazy, but I think we’re here to enjoy the ride, to not take things too seriously, to love and be loved by one another.

You cannot forget to play. You cannot forget how to have fun. You cannot forget how to dream. 

If you feel like life is treating you unfairly stop and ask yourself how are you treating life?

Writing helped me cope with the transition to post-grad tremendously, though it took significant effort and time for me to get comfortable with calling myself a writer, posting about it online, and feeling free to tell the page whatever flowed through my mind.

That’s why I’m launching “Our Writing Hour” next Monday, June 23–a four session virtual writing club for people looking to dive back into writing and reconnect with their inner voice. And maybe make a new friend or two along the way :)

Open to anyone but capped at 10 people to keep the creative space sacred.

More details here and sign up here. Message me if you have any questions. I hope to see you there!

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