7 things I wish I knew before starting college

The first 6 weeks of college suck. If no one’s told you that yet, let me be the first.

You’ve probably heard people say “college is the best four years of your life,” and seen it play out in movies and on the Instagrams of your friend’s older sisters. But college often starts out friendless and alone in a weird place where you might have to use the GPS to get around.

For some reason, I felt a tremendous amount of shame when I had to use directions to find my nearest Target. But how would I know? My college town was no different than any other city I’ve never been to before. Plucked from a place where I had know everyone since kindergarten, or sixth grade, or ninth grade, suddenly I knew no one.

But that was okay, because most people didn’t know anyone else either. And if they did, it was probably no more than two or three people from high school. And if they knew more people than that, they probably wished they didn’t (they might be carrying a reputation, while you are a blank slate).

Making new friends can be socially exhausting.

But exhaustion is a small price to pay for not being lonely. It can be easy to blow off going to “stupid events” the first few weeks of school, but you’ll want to have some people you can text when it’s freezing in November and the only thing left to eat in your dorm is a single-serving can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup but no spoon.

In the first six weeks, your goal should be to meet as many people as you possibly can. Get phone numbers, Insta @s and Snapchats. You don’t have to marry these people, you don’t even have to sit with them at the dining hall, but it’s nice to have the option and to have people who know your name.

To meet people, follow these simple tips:

1. If it sounds like it might be fun, GO (don’t be afraid to go alone)

2. If there’s free food, GO

3. If you get invited, GO

Embrace the attitude of “Yes, AND,” and see where the wind takes you. (Obviously, this does not extend to places/situations that might be dangerous or make you feel unsafe.)

Hard truth: the people who I ended up being closest to upon graduation were mostly people who got there after my freshman year. Making new friends never stops, and it might be more valuable than any other skill you learn.

Greek life is political.

I thought because I had good grades, was pretty and from out-of-state, I would be a shoe-in for whatever sorority I wanted. WRONG.

Naively, I believe recruitment was about everything it advertised: friendship, philanthropy, connecting to women with similar values… WRONG AGAIN.

It’s a game of who you know. When I got dropped from half the houses overnight, my ego was busted and bruised. All I wanted to do was make friends and I got worried: did these people not like me?

No, they just didn’t go to high school with you or know your sister. Or, alternatively, you did go to high school with someone and they did know your sister–lose/lose.

Getting dropped from recruitment ended up being a huge blessing in disguise and allowed me to pursue things that challenged me professionally, like writing for the campus newspaper.

Without that experience, I might not be writing this newsletter.

Build healthy habits, take naps and eat soup.

College is like training wheels for real life, and the habits you make now are the habits you have to break later. I took a 1 hour weight lifting class on Tuesday and Thursday mornings because I didn’t want to screw up my GPA, and I knew that would motivate me to show up. That, plus all the walking–I didn’t have to worry about exercise. Box=checked.

I napped more in college than I’ve ever napped in my entire life (and they were naps that took me to a different planet).

You do so much emotional, social and mental growing in college that your brain has to rest often to process it all. Take more naps!

Soup and vegetables became my meal of choice at the dinning hall because they were impossible to mess up.

Think about it like this: a food like pizza exists on a spectrum from terrible (think, Michelle Obama lunches circa 2010) to otherworldly (think, a New York slice when you’re starving). Unfortunately, the dining hall pizza might fall somewhere closer to the bad side. Not inedible, but maybe not enjoyable.

Soup, on the other hand, exists in a much smaller range. Sure, you might have had some great soups, but they’re probably few and far between. Most soup is just fine, and that’s why I ran on soup during freshman year of college.

Everyone changes their major and so should you.

Almost everyone I knew in college changed their major, and some more than once. I changed multiple times during the first two years, then made a final pivot my senior year.

It can be daunting to declare “What you want to do with your life,” but you do not have to get a job in the same field as your degree. Study something that lights you up inside and spend college figuring out how you can make money doing that thing.

I graduated with a degree in journalism, and now I run my own business doing social media management and content creation. A large part of my job includes making TikToks and Instagram reels.

TikTok didn’t even exist when I started college.

Luckily, the skills I learned in my journalism career taught me how to think critically about new media, adapt to changing digital landscapes, read carefully, research thoughtfully and ask questions to develop solutions. I use all of those skills daily to grow my business and help my clients even though what I’m doing now is ~technically not~ “what I went to school for.”

Make connections with “trusted adults.”

You’re an “adult” now, although, not really. You’re kind of like a baby adult.

Make connections with professors, advisers or other people in the community (you could meet them at church, work, recreational sports, etc).

Having these people in your corner will help you curb your homesickness. They’ll be able to give you guidance about school, relationships and life.

Mentorship is criminally underrated. Once again, I didn’t meet my most impactful mentors until after my freshman year, but I was on the lookout.

Learn to surf the wave.

College holds life changing experiences in the classroom and in fraternity basements. Learn to ride with the highs and lows and embrace the brevity. It lasts as long as high school, but it goes so much deeper.

Take chances and put yourself in situations that will allow you to grow. Make connections and memories. Fail. Learn. It’s so much better to do it now.

You will get knocked down, but everyone does.

Just be one of the people who keeps getting back up.